There is a wisdom from God that I pursue.  Many don’t understand it, but still I try.  God’s wisdom is counter-everything.  The more I try to understand it, the more I realize my thinking is just different from my Creator’s.  That’s an incredibly good thing for all of us.  According to James, this heavenly wisdom is given to me in pure, impartial, considerate, sincere, submissive, peace-loving ways — and allows me the opportunity to have a wisdom that operates likewise.

One of the most mind blowing thoughts is that I can know the thoughts of God.  Although His thoughts are most often opposite of mine, I can still know His.  THAT is the kind of wisdom my early morning began pointing me to.

There is a huge, recently constructed mansion just off the beach and down by the sea wall Lucy and I walk to every morning.  For the past few years, my family and I have watched this monstrous memorial to capitalism come to life.  We have wondered what celebrity is holed up behind the commanding front columns.  What business mogul has set up shop there, what did they invent, and how can I meet this guy?  I’m guessing the inside of the mansion is even better than what you can see on the outside, and I really like what I see on the outside.

This morning I asked Lucy about the mansion.  She quickly replied, “Isn’t that the most awful thing you’ve ever seen?  The only place that thing should be seen on is the back of a dollar bill.”  She pulls no punches.  She hated the mansion and it’s invasion on her home seaside turf.  Lucy explained how a  local, big dog chiropractor spent millions building this quaint bungalow, and ticked off the local beach community in doing so.   I kept my own opinions quiet and very close to my Coppertone.  I was grateful Lucy could not know my silent thoughts in the same way I can God’s.

After saying goodbye to Lucy, I walked back to the stately beach house.  I wasn’t sure why I made the trek back, but God seemed to be confirming Lucy’s architectural evaluation.  This mansion was no mansion in God’s booming economy.   God’s thinking was just the opposite of mine.   God was whispering something about how His idea of a mansion made this one a Kenyan shack.  Certainly ironic, but definitely providential, I realized my morning wake up t-shirt sported the Greek word, “prosdechomai” (waiting forwardly).

Waiting forwardly is certainly the opposite of how most think.  Quite often it’s not how I think, no matter how much I wear the t-shirt.   However, on this morning, I seemed to be tapping into a soul-pausing thought about living for another world.  Where does that kind of thought come from?  Where do those lofty, deeper thoughts about life and beyond come from?

In “The Reason For God,” Timothy Keller writes:  “If God exists, we would expect to find that He appeals to our rationale faculties.  If we were made in His image as rational, personal beings, there should be some resonance between His mind and ours.”

Something was stirring and resonating with my mind, and I believe it was God.  His thinking… His wisdom… His mind was at work within mine, and it felt like heavenly wisdom was coming down in the way the book of James was espousing.

Although Keller’s book is a bit slower to read, I have found myself being enthralled on my beach chair with theology, thinking, and practical brain exercises found within my bent and marked pages of “The Reason For God.”

Keller seems to capitalize on how our thoughts, questions, and ways are not God’s.  Most often, Keller points to the exact opposite of culture’s thinking to prove and understand God.  For example, some people believe Christian fanatics prove that there really is not a loving God at the center of all.  Fanatics have brutally pillaged and raped in the name of a purported God.  Keller would claim that those fanatical Christians are actually not fanatical enough.  They need to be even more fanatical!  They have not gone “all the way”past laws and legalism to get to the ultimate tenets of God such as grace, mercy, and love.  That’s some good thinking, I don’t care who you are.   And on and on Keller’s book unfolds in opposite thinking ways.  I really like that.

I really like how thinking and theology is making me hungry for God these past few days.  I want to know God’s thinking, and have the ability to explain it.  I want my brain cells to continue to be stirred like this.  I want the mind of Christ.  I want to stay at the big mansion next year on study break… but that probably just shoots all kinds of contradictory holes through this blog.  Sorry!

It really is an amazing thing to watch grown men on vacation working like they weren’t.   I’ve watched several dads setting up and draggin’ all the necessary beach paraphernalia for the family, but also pulling out a full-sized, Home Depot fresh shovel for themselves.  Apparently these are working vacations I’m seeing unfold.  Work is exactly what these dads did in building impressively detailed sand castles.  It was like the beach was dotted with competitive fathers doing their kids science projects, and each were made of sand.

Once a castle (or shark, snowman or mermaid carving) is completed, proud fathers retreat to their folding chairs to watch all those tourists covered in oil snap digital photos of these monuments of glory.  From a distance, each dad watches other people admire their work.  Is there really anything like a vacation to take you away from the stresses of… uh, work?

On an evening stroll, we saw a young mom and her boisterous son explore one of these labor intensive sand castles with their feet.  They climbed on top, and the construction fell apart.  From a secure distance I heard, “Hey, get off that!  That is just not right.  JERK!”  Apparently the creator was still guarding the castle, but the proximity was to aloof for any kind of real damage control.  We Scotts were literally caught in the middle of this enlightening exchange.  The mother and son saluted and quickly walked away.  The castle’s creator seemed to be gathering quick public opinion and forming a very weak counter attack of additionally anemic curse words.  My kids were wide-eyed and hoping this would become an even greater sermon illustration, but the whole thing just fizzled and washed away in the high tide.

Unmistakably, God was whispering to me this morning to guard my heart, for it is my castle — the wellspring of life.  A teacher, I was reminded through the book of James, will be held accountable to higher standards.  At the center of those holy standards are words, language, and speech.  Some pastors lull people to sleep with apathetic words.  Other leaders rob churches of hearing God’s Word because they use stolen, plagiarized words.  Teachers can be enemies of grace with legalistic words, and leadership explodes when God gives pastors visionary words.

What will come out of my mouth is a direct overflow from my heart.  And by nature of what I do, there are a lot of words that come flying out of my mouth one way or the other.  The Bible says when words are many, sin is not a absent.  Yikes, I’d better guard my castle.

I need to guard my heart.  Back in early May I took in a one-day conference.  The underlying theme of the day was “guard your heart.”  Michael Hyatt promptly reminded leaders:  1) Your heart is your authentic self;  2) Your heart is the most valuable leadership tool you have;  3) Your heart directly impacts your influence;  4) Your heart is either healthy or unhealthy;  5) Your heart is under constant attack.

My early morning walk with Lucy was good for my heart.  Our conversation got so cranked up, we walked past her condo and had to cycle back.  My ipod worship time enlarged my heart.  “Revolution Song” is even more powerful when cranked to “11″ and oceanside.  My study of James was personal and took me to several other passages throughout the Bible.  Like David Platt’s “Secret Church”, I began thinking about a six-hour crash course through James called “Hungry.”  Would anyone come?

After breakfast I set up for a day of reading Timothy Keller’s “The Reason For God.”  I picked this book as a personal soul builder tool.  I was anxious to see how this would help me guard my heart.  I just about closed up shop on Keller within the first 10 pages.  This is a theology book. THEEEEOLOGY ya’ll.  I was hoping for something a little more warm and fuzzy along the lines of a Chris Tomlin ipod serenade.  Nope.  This was straight up apologetics and theology.  This was turning into more of a working vacation than I intended.  I began digging with my shovel, and quickly looked to the last page of Keller’s supposed New York Times Bestseller.  310 was the glaring number stamped on the last page.  It’s never a good sign when you count the pages before you start.  I counted again once I was 10 pages in.  If I subtracted the index and end notes, I was down to  254.  However, the introduction I tediously read was 16 pages long, and weren’t counted as actual pages.  Ugh.

I like to read one book every two days on study break.  That’s a good pace for my processing.  “The Reason For God” will take me three days even without the index and end notes.  It’s a slower, more methodical read.  It’s theology, ya’ll.

It is a very good book.  There are some great points of theology and extremely practical apologetics that Keller makes relevant to our culture.  As I was underlining and marking, I was reminded how theology is an attempt at understanding God.  That’s good for my heart.  Studying gives me credentials as a pastor and workman of God.  That’s a really good heart thing.  Renewal and freshness of my thinking keeps my heart transformed and protected from some ugly patterns of the world (did you hear the one about a political Weiner?).

I reluctantly put down Keller, and went for a walk.   God had spoken, and there was some guarding of my castle going on.  I was processing one true religion, a good God allowing suffering, Christianity as a straitjacket, the church being responsible for injustice, and a loving God  attached to hell.  My heart and not just my head was full.  It was a Spirit AND truth thing in the way true worship is supposed to unfold.  In the end… I HAD guarded my heart by challenging my head with theology.  Theology has a way of guarding and enriching our hearts from a very close proximity.  Absolute truth practically applied is a great guardian of the heart.  The lack thereof allows for castles to be overthrown with only an unheard curse word to respond.

My study break strategy is a bit more strategic this year.   Most years I’m anxious to dive into the newest read on the latest and greatest church world tactical plan.  My first books attacked would normally stoke the fires attached to my role as church leader.  I would then sneak in a few days towards the tail end of my getaway to read something simply for my soul.

This year, I’m starting off with a couple books geared more towards my soul.  (Church Planter by Darrin Patrick, and The Reason For God by Tim Keller)  In keeping with an ocean theme, I hope these first books become filets for my hungry soul.    I finished up Patrick’s book this afternoon, and it proved to be a great gauge of my heart towards who I am as a man, how I approach the message of Jesus, and the mission I’m called to.  Ultimately, the Man is Jesus, the Message is Jesus, and the Mission is Jesus.  There’s nothing better than Jesus-centric stuff to be good food for my soul.

Towards the very end of Patirck’s book, thoughts were turned towards Jesus’ church.  This was a good thing, for I realized again how you can focus on the Church without regard to your soul, and be found ineffective.  You can also focus first on your soul being in the care of Jesus, and be even more prepared to lead His Church.  My strategy… God’s strategy… is working.

And then there’s this additional thought of fish and fishing.  Some are content for some breaded, land-locked Mrs. Paul’s on their plate.  Others will not touch a filet without it being fresh and recently pulled from the sea.  My son, Michael, will stick a small, hand held net in shallow waters to try and catch a fish.  When one brushes his feet, he jumps.  He was sure he saw a Tiger Shark in his ankle deep attempts.    Another more serious fisherman standing next to Michael cast a line into deeper waters, but remained on the shore with a spattering of pitifully small fish in a bucket.  A boat just 300 yards off the beach seems to take the fishing thing still further.  And late this afternoon, I saw a deep-sea boat headed out to waters where the safety of land becomes alien, but the possibilities are of whale-sized proportion.

I wondered why most prefer small nets or simple lines cast from the shore.  Was it a safety thing?  If you really want to fish, isn’t there some kind of calling that propels you to catch more and bigger fish in even deeper waters?

My calling is sure, and for that affirmation I’m moved and grateful.  I’m a teacher, leader, and vision caster.  That’s not meant to sound as arrogant as some may read.  It’s just  how God wired and placed me within His Bride, the Church.

Often it feels like I’m fishing too close to shore.  A small-minded focus on attendance and church success can be so consuming.  The message I carry of Jesus’ payment of our sin and cleansing from the stain of sin, however, is not a small thing.  The mission of compassion, care, and a church that reproduces unleashes forces more powerful than can be contained in any one church bucket.

So why do I insist on remaining safe on the shore with limited ability to catch anything but a spiritual sunburn?  It would seem with increased faith and years of walking with Jesus, there are deeper waters containing more risk and God’s glory than ever before.  My 42 year-old faith demands, it seems, greater action.  Not for salvation or approval, but because I need to live up to — not shrink back from — what God has done, who Jesus is, and what I’ve already attained.

Today has been good to renew my heart and increase my vision… exactly because of the man, message, and mission of Jesus.  My thinking has been too small.  I closed my day of study, prayer, and worship by owning, confessing, and repenting through Patrick’s concluding words:  “I begged God to renew my heart and mind with a vision for our city that was more like Christ’s.”

Ironically, I’m hungry for some fish at dinner tonight.  Will it be Mrs. Paul’s or something fresh off the pier and from the mysterious depths?  My preference would be a fresh filet for body and soul.

(ipod this morning was ringing of Gungor and Jesus Culture.  my Bible study is in James.  i rocked the ear buds with Adele later… i love “Rumor Has It”)